I’m too busy to write this blog, I told myself. Sure, I don’t even have time to think of a subject. I have too much on.
But the truth is, I always have too much on. I’m a solo mum, I work full time, I write, and I study.
When I think back to my twenties—when I was only responsible for one of those things—I wonder what I did with my free time. Of course, there were lots of friends and a lot of fun. Not that I’m not having fun now, but I do seem to be spending a lot of my time building my life when perhaps I should have been building it then. But back then, I had a different attitude; I didn’t worry about building anything, as I just figured that one day everything would work out.
This week I had a conversation with someone in their twenties about what it meant to have it all together in life. In her mind, being married, having children, and a permanent, pensionable job was the definition of having life worked out.
I nodded with compassion as I listened to her. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that no one ever has it all together. Life is constantly shifting; people are constantly leaving your life, jobs are always moving and changing. As the saying goes, “There is nothing constant in life but change.”
This is not meant to depress you or steal your energy; in fact, it is meant to inspire you and free you from the pressure of having it all together. We never stop moving forward, growing, and discovering things about ourselves.
I have started over three times in my life, and I am 44. I had to start over for many reasons, none of which were of my choosing. It doesn’t really matter why I was forced into making these brave decisions. What is important are the lessons I have learned in the process of change that now allow me to keep choosing myself again and again. Now I look forward to the next curveball life sends, knowing excitement lies ahead.
So let this be a reminder to you all: don’t wait to be forced into change. Don’t wait until something breaks to realise it was already broken. Have the courage to walk away from what no longer serves you, even when it’s hard, messy, and makes no sense to anyone else.
Because you deserve a life that fits you, not one you feel stuck inside. It’s never too late to begin again.
~ Mairéad
Mairéad Keenan is an Irish author and single mom. Find out more about her and her writing!